Expectations

This week, on Wed. January 25, I moved into my 4th decade. Yep, I'm officially a thirty year old. I typically allow my bday to pass by without much 'fuss.' Perhaps that's just my personality when it comes to big events & attention (b/c Lord knows I like the 'fuss' in the day-to-days, right?! Haha) Or perhaps it's just the timing of my bday, which always seems to fall at a very distracted & busy time for us all. Last year, however, was a new low in regards to my bday... I have conveniently blocked out all the details, but I do remember it was a busy day, very little was going 'right' as I juggled work & 2 fussy kids all day by myself as Adam started school that evening. Not quite the dream birthday day, but I was indeed thankful for another year to celebrate =) That said, I was perhaps a bit guarded in my expectations for my 30th this year...

Well, this week began a bit rocky, to say the least. On Sunday, Anabelle came down with a terrible flu... and all that goes with it. Adam heads off to work, Anabelle, Oliver & I stay home from preschool, and everything else. Oliver avoids the flu, but is miserably sick with a cough/cold that's lasted about 6 weeks now. Take him into the doctor again and finally get some stronger meds. Meanwhile, Anabelle develops a temp, throws up again, and both kids decide they never want to sleep... not at night, not at naps. I develop the flu. Things are going well =) That was about the time I strapped this puppy to Oliver's crib as I (very ill) had for 1.5 hrs laid on his floor, hand reaching up through the crib scratching his back, and repeating, "Oliver, lay down and go night night!" Yes, Mother of the Year moment.

Have I mentioned we are living in a small condo these days... I think by Tuesday we exhausted all our options of toys and games in this space =) Fortunately, Adam is coming home in the evenings these days, and my mom had already gotten the flu this past weekend, so was able to help out Tuesday before flying out of town. These little moments help immensely and always make me think of the coming years of dental school when I won't have Adam around for these life-saving shifts! But, we'll cross that bridge when we get there...

Back at the ranch. We cancel our Tuesday evening Bday celebration plans b/c I'm still so sick. Needless to say, when I woke up on Wednesday, my big 30th, I literally laid there in bed asking the Lord to free me from this spirit of entitlement and expectation that I could feel looming over me as I began the day. Perhaps you can relate, but once your bday has actually arrived, you get that feeling like, "Yes, I DO want to feel completely special and spoiled and loved on today! I DO want it to feel different than any other day! And I DO deserve it, by golly!!"... And oh, I DO want to sleep another 5 hrs. and heal instead of chasing my kids around =)

Well, as I laid there working out these feelings with the Lord so we all could start the day on a positive note, I noted my bedroom door was closed. Adam knows not to close our door b/c I'm such a sound sleeper, I'd just sleep through the kids wailing for me to come get them. So, I thought, perhaps this means he is still here?! Could it be? A Wednesday, a work day, at 9am... could it mean what I think it does?!? Moments later, my Bday serenaders enter the room singing 'Happy Birthday to You!' and indeed, Adam has taken the day off of work. BLISS. Such a wonderful birthday gift -- especially in light of all that had we'd been through this week!

I'd like to believe that should Adam have gone to work that day, the Lord and I could've rallied and still had a wonderful 30th bday doing just the thing I always hoped & prayed I'd be doing at age 30 -- caring for, spending time with, and making memories with my children. Thirty years on this earth is hard to grasp. Most days, I still kinda feel like this little girl.

Or, let's be honest, I guess that morning I was feeling more like this girl =)

All this to say, at 30 years old, I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I am learning daily how to focus on, and be grateful for, the blessings that surround me. The answered prayers. The fulfilled dreams. The excitement of promises yet to be fulfilled (thank you, Beth Moore). And, I am very thankful for the PEOPLE in my life (that's YOU!) and the many creative ways you all bless me on the daily, whether near or far away -- and not just on my bday.

And, with that, I will leave you with two fabulous memories from the day:

Much to Adam's surprise, Wednesdays are dance class days. So, Adam got to do that routine of leotard, tights, tap shoes & sitting in the hallway with my other mom friends while the younger kids run around crazily. At one point, he snuck over and peered through the door window to watch a little of Anabelle's class. You have got to love Anabelle. Looks like she may have needed to start the morning more like her momma did & pray the Lord help righten her little heart =) Here Adam has captured AB giving her own little 'show' of sorts. Our pouty little girl, LOL.

It then appears she decided to distance herself from whatever she was protesting. Successful pouting at its best =) Meanwhile, I LOVE how completely ON her cuz Isabel is with her dance moves (pink leotard). Maybe that's why Anabelle was pouting -- who can stand next to that raw talent & perform?!

We ended the evening at Rams Head for a Griffin House (Matthew Perryman Jones opened) concert. Peter & Janelle surprised us with tickets for my bday gift (nice job guys!) James & Lauren were able to come too, and we ran into some other family members & friends while there, so it was a fun time. I have a tendency to 'fall in love' with all artists whose concerts I attend, so yes, it's been nothing but Griffin House around here these days on the grooveshark playlist. If you aren't already a fan of his music, just listen here, here and here and you'll be on your way =)

And now, I'll leave you with the handmade pop-out card my sis-in-love Annie put together. No explanation needed of course. Well, I guess maybe a little one... proceeding this was a phenomenal text train 2 weeks ago between the Burleigh family girls in which Mom Burleigh did end up stating she was "not too old to jump out of a salad"! I hope in another 30 years, I will still be celebrating each year the salad jumping sort of way =)